Bachelor Life

I’ve been living the bachelor life for a few weeks and it’s not a party.

It’s OK, but it’s a lot of work. Cooking, dirty dishes and laundry plus my full time job. (OK, I know I’m not getting much sympathy from working moms and single parents!)

Oh—and it’s also lonely. Sometimes I’ll get together with my son or my daughter and her husband, but most of the time I’m on my own.

Having a companion in life is wonderful. Getting married was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” For me that is SO true.

The good news is that my friend-wife arrives back home this week! Her grandmother duties will be over in a few days. And let me tell you, she will be a sight for these sore eyes.

When I got married, my friends didn’t throw a bachelor party for me. But I hear that such parties celebrate (and lament) all the groom loses on his wedding day: freedom, a carefree life and blind dates. Or something like that.

For me, though, marrying my sweetheart felt like winning the lottery of life! It was one of my happiest days. As the Song of Solomon says, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

Instead of feeling like I lost something, I was excited about all that I was gaining.

For starters, my best friend is now my wife. Instead of being lonely, I have a companion—someone to share life with. What I gave up was more than compensated by what I received!

And that’s just like what happens when a person follows Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

“Now hold on just a minute! How is going from bachelor to married like following Christ?”

Just this—we gain more than we lose. Much more!

Like the groom’s friends at a bachelor party, there are folks who tell others that becoming a Christian means giving up fun and excitement. That a person loses more than they gain.

But nothing could be further from the truth!

What one loses is guilt over sin and the future bad consequences of sin—things like addictive behaviors, life-long regrets or worse! Oh, and one also avoids eternal punishment in a horrible place the Bible calls hell.

What a Christ follower gains is forgiveness from guilt, inner peace, joy, purpose in living and the love of God. But wait, there’s more! The Bible also tells us God becomes our protector, provider and confidant. It says he will never leave us or forsake us.

And, as they say, “That just scratches the surface!”

One of the great things about being a child of God is that we know God loves us. He doesn’t just give us eternal life and then say, “Good luck—I’ll see you in heaven!” God knew we needed help and encouragement to live for him. So he gave us an amazing book called the Bible.

Do you have a Bible? Have you read it lately? Encouragement isn’t much good if you don’t ever read it! If you’re not a Christian, start in the New Testament Gospel of John and then keep reading. If you are a Christian and need encouragement, read the little book called First John.

Do you feel like you’re living the bachelor life? Alone--like no one cares for you? Then come to Jesus. He’s a friend for life and eternity. He’s the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

The Bible says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” It adds, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Listen to the Bible; it’s great for your soul!

Regular Checkup

Last week I went to my doctor for a regular checkup. Have you had one lately?

Common sense tells us we should go to the doctor for an annual physical. It’s a good idea.

Whenever someone has a concern about a loved one’s health or behavior, I’ll ask, “When was the last time they had a physical?” A regular examination by a doctor can identify problems before they become serious health issues. It may be uncomfortable but it’s worth the effort.

Some people are so afraid of doctors they resist seeing one. They say, “I can always go to a doctor if I need one.” But somehow they never go until things are serious.

By then they may hear the doctor say, “If you had come sooner, we could have helped you.”

Lesson? Don’t wait to see a doctor until you have a serious problem. Get a regular checkup.

The same principle holds true for your spiritual health.

“Now hold on just a minute. What does seeing a doctor have to do with spiritual health?”

Good question. And the answer is this: Just as you need a regular physical, it’s a good idea to have a regular spiritual.

What’s a “spiritual”? It’s what I call a checkup on your relationship with God. I recommend it because the Bible recommends it.

God’s Word says to “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” It adds, “A man ought to examine himself.”

When I speak with some people I’ll say, “Doctors give us physicals but God wants us to take a ‘spiritual.’ May I ask you a few questions?”

Here are some of the questions I may use: “Where are you in your walk with God? Would you say you are close to him or do you feel like he is far away? How often do you pray? Do you think God hears you? When you die, what do you think you’ll find on the other side?”

Depending on the answers I receive, I ask follow-up questions: “How can a person know where they will spend eternity? Have you personally put your trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? What difference has your relationship with God made in your life?”

Why is that important? Because a spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ determines our contentment with life, level of stress and our ultimate eternal home. It also gives us a sense of purpose and joy as we discover that God loves us as his child with an everlasting love.

Many admit they feel far away from God. The Bible’s advice? “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” For Christ’s followers it recommends “Don’t give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.”

If you’re not sure where to begin, take a lesson from the medical world: To get a good physical, it helps to choose a good doctor. Someone who knows where to begin and what to do.

For help with spiritual things, find someone you can trust. Look at their life, listen to their words and see if they match. Ask about their source of spiritual power and peace. Is the Bible their rule of faith and practice? Do they submit to God and his Word? Do others respect them?

Then find a good church and join it. A life-giving church is a place where you feel welcome, the Bible is central, and you feel like God speaks to you through his Word.

The whole experience ought to encourage you and charge your spiritual “batteries.”

Church is like a spiritual gymnasium. It keeps us spiritually fit, morally alert and in good condition to experience life to the full. Plus it’s a good place for a regular spiritual checkup.

Listen to the Bible; it’s great for your soul!

Final Version

Did you ever wish you could rewrite your life? I have.

Life, however, is not a term paper. We don’t get to write a rough draft, think about it, fine-tune it and then print the final version.

For a column like this that works fine. It goes through many rewrites before I submit the final draft. But real life? Not a chance.

In my last column I mentioned one thing in my life that, for years, I wished I could have changed. That event, a move in mid-senior year from a small town high school to a large regional high school, was life changing.

At the time I didn’t think it would be traumatic. I actually encouraged my dad to take the job that caused the move. It never occurred to me how much I’d miss graduating with my friends.

I didn’t know I wouldn’t get to go through graduation due to differences in the two schools’ curriculums (and some bad choices I made). Talk about unintended consequences!

Yes, I received a diploma. But it was without the cap and gown. A real “downer.”

What I didn’t mention was that I wouldn’t change it now. Because God used that experience to make me who I am today. Though I couldn’t see it at the time, God was working in my life.

“Now just a minute! Are you saying life’s difficulties could actually be blessings in disguise?”

That’s right. And not only “could be” blessings, but they are blessings for the child of God.

The Bible says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It goes on to say that God is able to use the experiences of our lives to make us more like his son, Jesus Christ.

What if you’re not a child of God? In that case he’s drawing you to himself through your life.

God is patiently waiting for you to turn to him and discover he loves you. And to learn that through Christ’s death on the cross, he is willing to forgive you and forget your sin.

What you must do is admit your mistakes, turn away from your self-centered life and follow Jesus Christ as your Lord. Then you can “go with the flow” in life because the flow is with Jesus.

Many people love Psalm 23 because it portrays God as the Good Shepherd who cares for his sheep. He loves us, provides for, protects and guides us. But to enjoy the benefits, you must follow the Shepherd. You must allow him to lead you through the good times and the bad.

One of God’s characteristics is that he is good. Even when you don’t understand what he is doing, you can trust his heart. Why? Because he is God and his ways are above our ways.

In the play “As You Like it” Shakespeare wrote, “All the world's a stage / And all the men and women merely players / They have their exits and their entrances / And one man in his time plays many parts.”

If Shakespeare is right, then God is the director of the play. He works in all the parts of our lives. As the Bible says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

We have this one life. It’s not a practice life. Or a dress rehearsal. Or a rough draft. There will be mistakes, bad choices and unintended consequences. The good news is that God is able to take our mistakes and work them together for our good.

So don’t stress out because you can’t do a rewrite and submit a final version of your life.

God is in charge. That’s why Jesus said, “Do not worry” because our heavenly father knows what we need.

Listen to the Bible; it’s great for your soul!

True Friends

The sign outside of my office door usually makes people smile. It reads, “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as quick as I could!”

Humor diverts attention from the fact that I’m from the North. North Jersey to be exact.

When I head back for a visit, as I did recently, I tell people I don’t miss the traffic. What I miss are the places and the faces. And I saw both during a recent 40th High School Reunion.

The summer of 1969 was the end of an era--several, to be truthful. Not only were the 60’s ending, but it was also the exciting culmination of man’s amazing effort to reach the moon.

For me, though, it was more personal. 1969 was the bittersweet end of my High School days. Bittersweet because in mid-senior year, my father took a position that moved our family to South Jersey. And I went from a small town school to a large regional high school. I felt lost.

Instead of graduating with my hometown friends, I ended the year with new acquaintances. Bummer. At their 20th reunion, classmates from the new school didn’t even remember me.

For years I wished I could go back and change that decision to move so I could have graduated with my friends in my hometown. But, as they say, “There’s no going back.”

However, as I learned at this reunion in my hometown, my old classmates are still my friends. True friends. Some seem almost like family!

What’s odd about that is, for the most part, I haven’t seen some of them for 40 years. Sure, there’s been the occasional reunion, but the last one was ten years ago.

“Well, hold on just a minute. How can you feel close to people you hardly ever see?”

The Bible says, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” True friends are like that.

You’ve probably heard the old saying, “Friends are family you choose for yourself.” And I guess that’s true. Plus, there’s something about living through adolescence together that forges bonds deeper than we know.

Most of us have aged a little. No surprise there. Some looked very much like they did in High School. Others have changed. But the saddest thing to see was the memory board listing names of classmates who have passed away. At every reunion the list grows longer.

Sadly, the reunion was over before we knew it and it was time to leave. It was hard to say “Good-bye” because I don’t know when or if I’ll see my friends again. Tomorrow has no guarantee. And that made me think about the only friend who guaranteed he wouldn’t leave us.

Jesus told his friends, “Never will I leave you.” And if you are a friend of Jesus, if your faith is in him as your Lord and Savior—there is nowhere you can go without him. In fact he is the only friend who can walk with you through the “valley of the shadow of death.”

When a friend or loved one passes away, we still have their memory with us. But Jesus gives us more than that. Jesus said he would not abandon his followers. He said, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

How can Jesus be with us? When he returned to Heaven, he sent the Holy Spirit on the Day of Pentecost. The King James Bible calls him the “Comforter.” Other versions refer to him as the “Counselor” or “Helper.” And part of his ministry today is to bring us peace and joy.

Throughout life, friends come and go. True friends stick with us no matter what happens. But Jesus Christ is a true friend forever. He is the only one who says, “I will never leave you” and is able to keep his promise.

Listen to the Bible; it’s great for your soul!

Real Life

Last week our family grew to include a new granddaughter!

Ayame Iris was born June 23 to our daughter living in Japan. (“Ayame” means “Iris” in Japanese.) Her birth reminded me of what real life is about.

On Father’s Day President Obama wrote an article in Parade Magazine. Maybe you saw it. In it he said, “If I could be anything, I’d be a good father.”

With that one statement he implied that being a good father was more important to him than being President of the United States of America! And it is more important.

In the article Obama spoke about the impact growing up without a father had on him. He describes how fatherlessness has hurt America. But most Americans are not as concerned.

Novelist David Lodge said, “Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around.” God would agree.

Those who read the Bible know God told Adam and Eve “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth.” Then again, after the Flood, God repeated the same command to Noah.

In other words, God said, “Have lots of children and populate the planet!”

“Now hold on just a minute! Isn’t the earth running out of space and resources for people?”

Yes, that’s the myth we’ve been told. And that myth is what drives the desire for small families. It also encourages those who favor abortions to get rid of the innocently inconvenient.

But the reality is far different.

Years ago sociologists predicted we wouldn’t be able to feed the earth’s growing population. But they had no way of knowing about future advances in technology that significantly increased crop yields. Today our government pays farmers NOT to grow crops!

God also said, “Fill the earth.” Those who describe limited space for people and crowded conditions are usually talking about cities. And yes, cities can seem crowded. But what about all those wide open spaces you see when you leave the city and its suburbs?

Cities weren’t God’s idea. They were man’s idea. Check out God’s reaction to humankind’s effort to build the first city around the tower of Babel.

The Bible says God “scattered them over the face of the whole earth.” And there’s plenty of room for people if we would just spread out. We can even turn deserts into gardens if needed!

From our selfish perspective, bigger families and more people are inconvenient for us. Not only that, but our shortsightedness is slowly destroying Western culture.

Recent research describes most Western societies as failing to achieve a replacement rate of reproduction. In other words, we’re not having enough children to sustain our population in the long term. So some Western countries now pay parents to have more children!

How sad we don’t understand what real life is all about until late in life. The older I get, the more I realize that family is one of the things in life that matters most!

Some think that life revolves around politics or success or money. But it really revolves around the family. To be part of a loving family, to have a mother, father, sisters and brothers is a greater blessing than all the wealth or power in the world. Family is real life.

If you’re part of such a family and also a part of God’s family, what else do you need?

God’s plan for the family is to “turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

Listen to the Bible; it’s great for your soul!