For many Americans, Thanksgiving Day is more a time of stress than giving thanks.
Almost half of Americans say family is what they are most thankful for. However, of those that find Thanksgiving stressful, about a third identified family as the source of that stress.
“Now hold on just a minute! What’s going on here? Can’t families get along for one day?”
Apparently not.
In a recent poll, 68% reported there will be a “gobble squabble” --a family fight--before dinner is even served! 37% of Thanksgiving hosts think their role is very stressful and 20% dread it. Among all respondents to the poll, 13% dreaded Thanksgiving.
What are we so upset about? People admit to arguing about ex-family members, how they think their family should live their lives and whose favorite football team is the best. Others disagree about family members that are not present. Some argue over whose illness is worse.
Holiday happiness may unravel because of our expectation assumptions. If you’re hosting the dinner, you want the day to be “perfect.” Good food, nice weather, happy family and friendly conversation. You’ve gone to a lot of trouble and family members owe it to you to behave well.
If you’re attending, maybe you’ve traveled a great distance and traffic was awful. Or people at the airport were rude and your flight was delayed making you late. So you assume your family will understand your grumpiness and you expect them to be nice.
Perhaps the real reason Thanksgiving can be so stressful is we’ve forgotten the day’s purpose. It’s more than just going around the table and coming up with one thing to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving is about an attitude of gratitude. It’s about wanting to give thanks to God.
That’s not my idea. It’s what our leaders have said in establishing a day for Thanksgiving.
President George Washington proclaimed our first national day of Thanksgiving was to be observed "by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God.” President Lincoln referred to America’s blessings as “gracious gifts of the Most High God.”
In his 2009 Thanksgiving proclamation President Obama continued the practice and referred to America’s tradition of thanking God for our blessings.
In good times and bad, peacetime and war, America has reached out to thank God. And that is the key to a happy Thanksgiving celebration. To thank God.
It’s not enough, as some say, to just “be thankful.” To truly give thanks requires someone to whom we give thanks. Yes, I know—we’ve worked hard for all we have and think we deserve it. But who gave you your health, strength and abilities? Every good thing is a gift from God.
The Bible warns us that prosperity can lead to an ungrateful heart that forgets God. In order to avoid that, it encourages us to “give thanks to him and praise his name.”
This week as we gather in our homes and places of worship to thank God for his many blessings I encourage you remember how God has blessed you. Do you have a place to live? Family? Food on your table? Clothing to wear? Then that is enough for which to give thanks.
And while you’re at it, thank God that he is a God of love, mercy and forgiveness.
Yes, I know it’s hard work. It’s much easier to complain and whine. But to avoid a food fight, to prevent a “gobble squabble,” cultivate an attitude of gratitude in your heart.
Then “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
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